By Claire Corrigan
Chatting to Moate native Evelyn Forde Wakefield, you would think the bubbly mother and wife did not have a care in the world. The mother of two children was in fact diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer three years ago and has since vowed to live every day to the full. As she speaks to Topic, her strength and love of life and for her family shines through, and it’s hard to be unmoved by her warm and caring personality, which is is instantly evident.
Evelyn, who lives in Shinrone, Offaly, with her husband Clive and their two children Cian (12) and Zoe (6) was diagnosed in June 2014 after she found a lump while showering one morning.
Six weeks later, Evelyn met the oncology team in Limerick Hospital, where she underwent a mammogram, followed by an ultrasound.
She was told that that they had found two lumps, one in her breast and one under her arm, and that they would have to perform a biopsy. “When I heard it was under the arm, that was when I thought ‘I am in trouble here,” Evelyn recalled.
The biopsy results revealed that the lumps were malignant and Evelyn was given a diagnosis of breast cancer. While preparing to undergo a mastectomy, Evelyn received a call that would change her life. “I had Stage 4 cancer and it had gone right through my bones and I had seven clear deposits down through my spine.”
She was told that she had terminal cancer and that the treatment would now have to change.
Two weeks later, Evelyn returned to see her oncologist to determine what strain of breast cancer she had. “He said the options were six months palliative chemotherapy to start with.”
The mother of two said that she wanted to know what her life expectancy was before beginning the gruelling treatment. Two and a half years was the oncologist’s devastating reply. “The first thing that went through my head was that I had always wanted to have children and live the happily ever after that I thought I would like. It was like taking everything I’d hoped for and ripping it from under my feet. I could see Communions, Confirmations, birthdays, weddings, and I thought to myself, ‘I’m never going to see any of these days’.
Metastatic breast cancer
Within ten days of receiving the heartbreaking news, Evelyn busied herself with the practicalities of the situation. “I do remember going down for the first round of chemo and being absolutely terrified, because you have no idea how it will affect you.”
Her fears were not unfounded, and the following morning, she was barely able to lift her eyelids. “I thought to myself, ‘Is this my life now? Is this all we have to look forward to?”
However, Evelyn said the subsequent five chemo sessions didn’t affect her as badly, and when the treatment had been completed, Evelyn received the wonderful news that her tumour had reduced from 7cm to 2.5cm and she was placed on a hormone tablet to control the cancer.
Telling the children
One evening, when Evelyn told Cian that she had been diagnosed with cancer, “he started crying and said, ’that means you’re going to die’”.
Evelyn credits the CLIMB programme in Portlaoise cancer centre with helping her children through the difficult period and said that was the turning point.
In March 2015, Evelyn was well enough to return to work part-time, but after a couple of months, she began suffering with severe pain in her back. “One morning, I couldn’t even put on my socks.”
As the day went on, the pain became severe and a scan revealed that the tumour in her lower spine had flared up. Ten sessions of radiotherapy followed.
Evelyn then began to experience excruciating pain in her joints as well as stiffness in her hands.
In January 2016, Evelyn was unable to bear the pain any longer and visited her consultant, who suggested six months of palliative care. “I was terrified. That is end-of-life care.”
Three months later, the pain was under control again but reappeared at Christmas of last year. “I was just getting up at 1.45pm for Zoe coming in from school and would be in bed by the time my husband came in from work.”
A change to her medication later and Evelyn was a new woman. “I have a new lease of life. I’m up most days at 10am and still going until 8pm in the evening.”
Three and a half years after her diagnosis, Evelyn’s condition has not progressed any further, thanks to Limerick team.
She said that the family use humour to cope, but that the children (especially Cian) do understand the seriousness of the situation. “I think he’s knows the disease is going to take my life but I don’t think that he understands that if I got another five years, it would be a miracle.”
The devoted mother has set about putting together memory books for her children and cherishes every single moment she has left with her little ones. “Cian wanted to make sticky toffee pudding and I had loads of housework to do. Then I took a step back and realised I could be told I have three weeks to live. Let’s make the sticky toffee pudding! During the summer, we all camped in the garden and do things like that. Would I do this if I wasn’t sick? Probably not. The reality is we don’t do it.”
On the day of Cian’s Confirmation, Evelyn fell sick. However, the quick thinking mother spontaneously organised a bouncy castle and invited her brother and his children to her mother’s house. “It is no walk in the park, but my motto is ‘make the good days great and just get through the bad ones,” she enthused.
More support for women with breast
cancer
Evelyn has turned her attention to helping others with the illness and was instrumental in the setting up of Europa Donna Ireland’s Facebook page ‘Connect MBC Network’ for Metastatic Breast cancer patients as well as the Marie Keating Foundation’s Metastatic Breast cancer group, which holds meetings on alternate months in Dublin and Portlaois. “When you are diagnosed, you should be given a list of the services available. That is probably my next fight!” she said.
